xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxox

things are sweet

then go to shit

love's forever lost

then found again

somewhere, someone else

of course

life's a mystery

or a missing doughnut

are you in the sweetness

or the empty space in the middle?

where in the world has your sweet spot gone?

 

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 sorrow

it’s from a million things.

stress. cortisol. hormones. 

not saying no - ever. 

not knowing you deserve  - better.

yeah - there’s sugar and carbs and too much of everything and secret eating and drinking and crying. 

and alot of toxic spills on your heart.

but things can change - they can and they will. the messes get cleaned up, one by one, and  everything shifts and things feel different. inside, outside, all around. 

when you're in love, the world is shiny and bright and food seems unnecessary. 

life is full and satisfying and complete. 

but when love gets broken, the cracks go wide and the empty places go deep, and seem impossible to fill.

you can get fat over it, if you try to stop the pain. 

it’s true. start where you are. 

hold on tight. to something. your cat or your journal or the view out the window. find a place that's quiet and still and remember.

you will remember. you're worth it. worth believing in. worth taking care of.

even if the only one taking care of you, is you.

and all the lies you've been telling yourself? it's time to talk to them. you must understand, they were there for a reason.

in some weird, wonderful way they were trying to keep you safe - from the big, scary world you landed in. 

everyone has 15 gangsters living in their head. 

you know - the world isn't a bad place. it’s just not perfect. it’s messy.

it’s hot and arid and dry and freezing and warm and blizzardy and tempestuous. it’s true and honest and mostly chock full of pros. and a few cons.

it's black and white and red and green. 

and so are you.

and when the grass grows, i hear it smile.